That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We had sex on a dog bed..
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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