She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
