why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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