I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
