I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
His nipple licking is glorious
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