I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
