btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
