party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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