Screwed.edu
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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