I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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