Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
