yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
