Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
