party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
