He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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