is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
my poor anus
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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