Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i've created a new STD.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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