i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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