She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
