Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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