no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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