i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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