Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
