he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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