u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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