u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
