Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
