Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
