1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
