I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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