i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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