I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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