I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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