You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
