U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
