So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
