This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
