also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize