sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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