I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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