i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
