belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
