she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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