i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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