I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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