i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
