Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
As shirtless as possible
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
