i just wanna soil my oats bro
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
