please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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