we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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